’Twas the day before Christmas Eve, and all through the Gables, a political action committee was stirring — and not in a “peace on Earth” kind of way.
Just as Coral Gables residents were thinking about midnight Mass, Nochebuena prep, and whether the roast would dry out, Coral Gables First, the PAC that Mayor Vince Lago has repeatedly and proudly acknowledged as his, slid into inboxes with a “holiday greeting.”
Only it wasn’t much of a greeting.
Instead, it was a parody of Santa Baby — yes, that song — retooled to mock Commissioner Melissa Castro, complete with snarky lyrics, insinuations about corruption, and AI-generated misogynistic cartoon images that many recipients described as sexualized, juvenile, and wildly inappropriate for a city that still clutches its pearls over parking decals.
Nothing says Christmas in the City Beautiful like a “soft porn” email blast portraying a sitting commissioner — and single mother — in tight, suggestive outfits, with exaggerated curves, innuendo-laced lyrics, and winking references that leaned less “political satire” and more middle-school locker room humor.
In Coral Gables.
On the day before Christmas Eve.
Very classy, Vinnie.
Ladra thinks he has an obsession with her. Like she is every girl that ever rejected him in high school and the epitome of what he cannot have.
Read related: Coral Gables Mayor Vince Lago lashes out at Commissioner Melissa Castro
The PAC’s email attempted to dress itself up as harmless holiday fun. But beneath the tinsel was a familiar Lago-era pattern: personal fixation masquerading as policy critique, aimed squarely — and repeatedly — at Melissa Castro.
The problem? Much of the content wasn’t just mean-spirited — it was misleading or flat-out false.
The email paints Castro as pro–Live Local development, cozy with builders, and personally benefiting from city decisions. In reality, Castro has been one of the most vocal skeptics of Live Local projects in Coral Gables, often standing opposite the pro-development bloc that Lago himself has led or enabled. The anti-development, residents-first vote is and has been squarely behind her.
So while the mayor’s PAC was busy rewriting Christmas carols, it also rewrote the facts.
But what really raised eyebrows — especially in a city that still thinks “edgy” means sleeveless at commission meetings — was the gendered and sexualized framing. The choice of Santa Baby alone carries baggage, historically designed to infantilize and sexualize women. Layer that with AI cartoons emphasizing Castro’s body, and the message was clear to many recipients: this wasn’t about policy. It was about diminishing a woman in power.
This from a man with daughters. It should strike everyone as horrible that Castro’s daughter is the one who pointed out to her that the same message had been posted on social media.
This is the same mayor who months ago talked about restoring decorum at meetings and public behavior. It’s pretty obvious that this is just part of his intimidation campaign to silence Castro, who is the only real effective voice against him on the dais.
And the email landed with a thud.
If Lago’s PAC was hoping for fireworks, Melissa Castro didn’t give them any.
“He’s just trying to flip the script because Im the only one he cannot control,” Castro told Ladra. “He can’t go after the legislation so he has to go after me personally.”
“He’s trying to convince people that I’m someone that I’m not,” she said.
In a measured, pointed email to her supporters, Castro — who has become used to being the mayor’s and his lackeys’ punching bag — acknowledged the attack. And then she calmly dismantled it.
Read related: Coral Gables Mayor Vince Lago, allies bully and browbeat Melissa Castro
She reminded residents that Mayor Lago has openly confirmed Coral Gables First is his PAC, and that it has been used repeatedly to target her. She noted the timing: the day before Christmas Eve, a moment of particular significance for Christian families reflecting on motherhood, sacrifice, and humility.
Choosing that moment, she wrote, to demean and sexualize a woman in public service “speaks volumes about the values behind the attack.”
Castro didn’t trade insults. She didn’t parody back. She didn’t meme.
Instead, she did something far more uncomfortable for her critics: she stated facts.
She reiterated that she stopped doing business in Coral Gables long ago, at real personal and financial cost, specifically to avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest. No expediting business. No backroom deals.
And then she drew a line.
Healthy policy debate? Yes. Sexualized caricatures, gendered ridicule, and false insinuations dressed up as holiday humor? Absolutely not.
She closed by pivoting away from the spectacle and back to governance — neighbors, shared values, and the work of protecting Coral Gables for future generations.
Which only underscored the contrast.
Read related: Coral Gables Commissioner Melissa Castro calls out the kickback culture
Several residents reached out to Ladra to express their disapproval of the distasteful missive.
Jack Thompson, a longtime Gables resident and activist, says he is thinking twice about a scheduled meeting with the mayor over the deteriorating maintenance of the Granada golf course, but he was flabbergasted by the email and called it a “soft porn attack.” He asked the mayor to apologize to Castro.
“Why would I meet with him anyway? I don’t trust him about anything,” Thompson told Ladra, adding that the issues with the golf course are well documented and obvious to the naked eye.
“His treatment of individuals is far more important than anything going on at the golf course,” Thompson said. “I want to ask him, ‘Have you not heard of #metoo, Bill Cosby and Trump?’ The email was rude, unkind and doesn’t serve the city.”
Thompson went as far as to call L’Ego “Trump Junior.”
At this point, it’s fair to ask: why the fixation, Vinnie?
Commissioner Castro has been talked down to, censured, mocked, sidelined, and now turned into a Christmas parody — all while consistently challenging the mayor and his allies on elections, transparency, and development policy. Disagreeing with her votes is one thing. Turning her into a recurring character in a political PAC’s content calendar is another.
In a city that prides itself on decorum, discretion, and dignity, the email left many residents wondering who, exactly, lost the holiday spirit — and who lost the plot.
Because if the goal was to make Melissa Castro look unserious, the result may have been the opposite.

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Miami’former frequent flyer mayor — the guy who once turned taxpayer money into his own personal presidential wannabe protection program, with cops in tow across Asia, the the Caribbean, and the campaign trail — has added a new footnote to his abuse of power file.
Remember when activists pointed out that while Francis Suarez was skipping all over the globe, Miami was footing the bill for security that tagged along to luxury hotels and state visits? That $20,000 security tab during his short-lived presidential run raised eyebrows several times — enough for ethics complaints, even if they got tossed on technical grounds.
The same officers — whose time is billed to residents as “dignitary protection” — was recently spotted again last week with a police unit outside Baby X’s $2 million Battersea Road house. But he is no longer mayor. Not on vacation. Not on a travel jaunt. He is termed out. Gone. Out. Finito. Newly elected Mayor Eileen Higgins was sworn in and got the keys to City Hall on Thursday.
Read related: Goodbye, Francis Suarez: Miami’s most frequent flyer mayor takes off for good
But still, there they were, cops idling outside the former mayor’s house like a Kardashian lived there or it was a VIP lounge — taxpayers paying for watchful eyes while the rest of Miami watches cops scramble for staffing.
“The police unit that had been stationed outside the former Mayor’s residence was originally established during the previous administration. During the transition following the election of Mayor Higgins, the detail was inadvertently not discontinued,” said Police Chief Manny Morales, responding to Ladra’s inquiry. “Once the oversight was brought to my attention, it was promptly corrected,” he said.
Translation from Ladra: Oops! We forgot to turn it off — but now we did.
That’s right: according to the Chief, the only thing more persistent than Francis Suarez’s frequent flyer miles was his taxpayer-funded protective detail — apparently forgotten like leftovers in the back of a fridge. And once someone (read: Ladra) asked about it, voilà — gone. Poof. Like magic.
Read related: Miami Police commander says Chief Manuel Morales is corrupt, unethical
Inadvertently, Morales said. As in: no one noticed. As in: no one stopped it. As in: Francis Suarez never thought to say, “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t still have a cop posted outside my house.”
Because that’s the real outrage here. The cops were there with his knowledge. With his silence. With his acceptance.
This is the same Francis Suarez who normalized flying around the world with Miami police officers in tow — on the public dime — while selling himself as a global brand, a crypto evangelist, and a presidential contender. The same guy who blurred the line between public service and personal privilege so badly that even now, after he’s gone, the perks apparently lingered like an unpaid bar tab.
Let’s be clear: this isn’t just a paperwork “oopsie.”
This is about a former mayor who apparently felt perfectly comfortable continuing to enjoy taxpayer-funded police protection after leaving office, while the city struggles with staffing shortages, overtime costs, and neighborhoods begging for patrols.
He should be forced to pay the city back for their salaries those days they were there out of his million of dollars that he got as he was mayor.
If this reads like a comedy of errors, that’s because it is. Miami watched cops jet off to foreign lands on the public dime to babysit a mayor on official visits that seemed more like selfies and second breakfast than security priorities. Now even after he’s out of office, the protective detail apparently needed someone to notice before it evaporated.
Meanwhile, residents are left wondering: whose safety was the priority here — the people who pay the bills, or the guy who enjoyed them?
Miami residents didn’t elect a king. They hired a mayor — temporarily. And when the job ends, so do the privileges.
Or at least, they’re supposed to.

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T’was the night before Christmas, and all through the town, all the people worked hard, to bring us up — or bring us down.
The activists spoke, as they were ignored. The electeds just yawned — they are always so bored.
They lobbyists conspired, the developers stole. Some government flacks left us all in a hole. 
But don’t worry dear readers, because what did appear? But a loud chihuahua with a phone to her ear.
People knew in a moment, it must be Ladra, a watchdog con garras que nunca se amarra
And she whistled and shouted and called them by name, bad political players just playing a game.
Her eyes are wide open, her mouth in a smirk, she knows who’s the hero and who is the jerk. 
So, raising a finger to the side of her nose, and leaving a love note in her sarcastic prose,
She gifts everybody with a beautiful list, while it’s quite incomplete she knows you get the gist.

This is Ladra’s inaugural Naughty and Nice list, featuring some of the people this year who did some good — they show up when needed, and do the work without a development budget or a PR firm — or some very very bad people who are only interested in themselves.
We’re not going to include electeds because, well, that would make the naughty list terribly long and the whole thing lopsided.
So, without further ado, here are Ladra’s picks for the naughty and nice in local government. Santa, take note. We’re going to start with the naughty list, because, admit it, that’s what people really want to read.
Naughty girls and boys

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The Trump presidential library is back on the fast track in downtown Miami — at least for now.
Last week, a Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Mavel Ruiz lifted her two-month injunction blocking Miami Dade College from transferring prime bayfront land that is slated to become the future shrine to Donald J. Trump.
Ruiz ruled Thursday that MDC had effectively cured the open-government problem that led her to halt the deal in the first place — not because the controversy went away, but because the college held a do-over.
And this time, they checked all the Sunshine Law boxes.
Read related: Miami Dade College gifts Donald Trump land for his library — and a hotel
Ruiz had initially frozen the transfer after local activist and history professor Marvin Dunn sued the college, arguing trustees violated Florida’s open records laws by fast-tracking the deal with vague notice and zero public testimony. Back in November, the judge agreed the case deserved a full trial — scheduled for August 2026 — and temporarily stopped the land from changing hands.
But in December, MDC trustees held a second, “properly” noticed meeting at the college’s Hialeah campus. This time, the agenda spelled it out clearly: the land would be used for the Trump presidential library. The meeting dragged on for four and a half hours, featured nearly 80 speakers, included testimony from Dunn and his attorney, Richard Brodsky, who warned the fight wasn’t over. Some people supported the library’s placement, mostly self-identifying Republicans or Trump fans. Others said it was an affront to have it next to the Miami Freedom Tower, a beacon for Cuban immigrants who came to this country.
Documentary filmmaker and reluctant Democrat Billy Corben surprisingly said he was all for it — as long as the library foundation paid a fair price for the land that could then be used to benefit the students. He called it a reckless giveaway.
“It’s a real estate deal guys, that’s all,” Corben told board members., which include former State Reps. Jose Felix “Pepi” Diaz and Michael Bileca. “I presume some of you own property in the county, residential, commercial. Why don’t you donate it for free to the present? Of course not. It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous for me to even say it or suggest it. It was absurd when you heard it out loud.
“If you wouldn’t do it with your property, don’t do it with the college’s property.”
But it was pretty obvious the decision had been made before anybody started speaking.
And that second meeting, Ruiz ruled Thursday, changed everything on the legal front.
Read related: Lawsuit challenges MDC giveaway of downtown Miami lot for Trump library
“Although there have been a lot of political issues associated with this case, let me make something very clear,” Ruiz said from the bench. “This is not and has never been a political decision.”
“Although there’s been a lot of political issues associated with this case, let me make something very, very clear. This is not and has never been and is not today a political decision,” Ruiz said. “The complaint was based on the lack of notice. This court finds that the new notice complies.”
The judge emphasized that the court was not ruling on whether a Trump library belongs in Miami, whether gifting public land is wise, or whether the site should be used for a library, a park — or, as she put it, “a petting zoo.”
Her job, she said, was limited to one thing: whether the public had been properly notified and given a chance to be heard. And on that narrow question, she sided with MDC.
“It’s hard to think what more could have been added to this notice to comply and to inform the public of their right to appear,” Ruiz said, pointing to the December meeting’s detailed agenda and broad public outreach. “The law is the law. It applies to all of us equally.”
Lawyers for Miami Dade College argued the lawsuit was now moot, noting that Dunn’s own attorneys had previously said the issue could be resolved by renoticing the meeting. MDC attorney Jennifer Hernandez told the court that even if there had been a Sunshine Law violation — which the college disputes — it had been “cured.”
“The Sunshine violation — if any existed — has been cured,” Hernandez said.
Read related: MDC Trustees rubber-stamp Donald Trump library land giveaway — again
Ruiz deliberated for about 10 minutes before lifting the injunction. The ruling clears the way for the transfer of 2.6 acres of downtown Miami land — valued at roughly $67 million, though some real estate experts say the bayfront property across from the Miami Heat arena could be worth far more.
The deal began quietly in September, when MDC trustees voted to transfer the land to the state. Days later, Gov. Ron DeSantis and Attorney General James Uthmeier announced on social media that the Cabinet would vote to gift the parcel to the Trump Library Foundation.
That speed — and the lack of public notice — is what triggered Dunn’s lawsuit.
At the first MDC meeting, no one testified. The agenda vaguely referenced “potential real estate transactions,” and trustees didn’t even mention the Trump library by name. Uthmeier joined the defense and said Miami Dade College didn’t have to be more specific in the notice of the trustees meeting, which has frightening implications statewide for other public noticed meetings.
Ruiz later said that wasn’t good enough, placing the injunction and setting a trial for August.
MDC trustees said they didn’t want to drag the issue out and opted to vote again — this time loudly, publicly and at length.
Brodsky tried Thursday to keep the injunction in place, arguing the second meeting was little more than “going through the motions.” He’s not wrong.
Ladra would add that the trustees intentionally moved the meeting to the Hialeah campus to curb public comment. They also drummed up support from a lot of local Republican activists who turned it into a defense of the POTUS instead of important, relevant guardrails on the use of public land meant for the benefit of college students.
Read related: MDC Trustees to vote again on Trump library land; still smells like a done deal
And most people knew it was a done deal. The trustees had said so before the meeting. So, how was it a real do-over?
Still, Dunn didn’t walk away empty-handed. The judge dissolved the injunction but left open the possibility that he could file another lawsuit to try to stop the transfer of the land. And Ladra bets he will do something.
You know who won’t? Newly-elected Miami Mayor Eileen Higgins, who has said that it is out of her purview. Okay. That may be true. But that doesn’t mean she had to be so chummy with MDC President Madeline Pumariega at La Alcaldesa 2‘s swearing in last week. It sends the wrong message.
So, for now, at least, the Trump library — even if it’s just some coloring books and a McDonald’s kiosk — moves forward. The politics remain radioactive. The land remains priceless.
But the final chapter — legally or politically — is far from written.

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The post Donald Trump Library back on track after judge lifts MDC injunction appeared first on Political Cortadito.

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Francis Suarez is finally gone.
After 16 years in city government — eight as a commissioner and eight as mayor — Miami’s self-appointed global brand ambassador, crypto whisperer and aspiring Silicon Valley mascot packed his bags one last time and left City Hall. On Thursday, he handed over the keys (hopefully not honorary ones) to former Miami-Dade Commissioner Eileen Higgins, Miami’s first woman mayor and the first Democrat to hold the job in nearly three decades.
Suarez leaves behind two very different legacies — depending on who’s telling the story.
In his farewell op-ed in The Miami Herald, Suarez — the Miami-born son of the city’s first Cuban-born mayor — paints himself as the architect of “Miami for everyone,” a visionary who lowered taxes, raised wages, cut unemployment, tamed homelessness, modernized city government, expanded opportunity, fixed housing, boosted education, welcomed the world and somehow still made it home for dinner.
It’s a beautiful story. Polished. Aspirational. Almost influencer-ready.
It just leaves out a few things.
Like the part where being mayor increasingly seemed like a side hustle to Suarez’s real passion: being anywhere else.
Few Miami mayors have logged as many frequent flyer miles as Suarez. Qatar. Japan. South Korea. Saudi Arabia. The Texas border. Washington. A celebrity wedding in Egypt. New York. California. Campaign stops for a presidential run so short and uneventful, most voters never knew it happened.
Read related: Miami Mayor Francis Suarez is all over the place — except leading the city
And wherever Suarez went, city taxpayers followed — footing the bill for “dignitary protection,” luxury hotels and police travel while residents wondered why their mayor kept governing from 35,000 feet.
New Times lovingly dubbed him “The Wanderer.” Miami residents just wondered who was actually minding the city.
Suarez stood by and did nothing as the commissioner carved up their fiefdoms during the 2022 redistricting madness. He did nada as the commission humiliated and fired the police chief that he brought from Texas. He did absolutely nothing while former Commissioner Joe Carollo weaponized the city government against Little Havana property owners for political retaliation, costing the city millions in legal fees and settlements. And he did nothing as former Commissioner Alex Diaz de la Portilla raided the Omni CRA and got city salaries for his personal campaign operatives who were no-show employees.
And, lest we forget, this is the guy who is single-handedly responsible for handing over the last public golf course in Miami, Melreese, to developers to build a mega retail/office complex disguised as a soccer stadium.
He became a national darling when he became Miami’s patient zero during the COVID pandemic, providing daily updates on national news about his symptoms and how he felt from his homebound quarantine. You could tell he liked being he national COVID commentator.
But Suarez will forever be remembered as the man who tried to turn Miami into the Crypto Capital of the World — and briefly convinced tech bros that a meme coin could replace city taxes.
MiamiCoin, we were told, would generate tens of millions, fund public services, fight homelessness, and maybe cure potholes while it was at it. Businesses were encouraged to accept it. Residents were promised Bitcoin dividends. He posed with a shiny robot bull — that sort of symbolizes his entire term in office — to show Miami was tech central.
By 2023, the only exchange supporting MiamiCoin pulled the plug. The coin became worthless. And Miami was left with a lesson it didn’t ask for: cities should not be run like speculative startups.
Read related: Miami Bull is exactly what absentee Mayor Francis Suarez has been selling
Then there was the speculative presidential campaign. Remember that? No? That’s okay — hardly anyone does.
Suarez entered the 2024 GOP primary, polled at 0.2%, failed to qualify for the debate he insisted he’d be on, and dropped out after two weeks. It was one of the shortest non-fringe presidential campaigns in modern American history. Highlights included offering $20 Visa gift cards to donors and publicly asking, on conservative radio, “What’s a Uyghur?” — later referring to them as “Weebles.”
Global leadership, indeed.
Suarez also managed to court controversy closer to home.
There was the Formula 1 ethics complaint after he attended pricy VIP events — with his campaign fundraiser Brian Goldmeier — courtesy of billionaire Ken Griffin while Citadel was exploring a move to Miami. The complaint was dismissed — he reimbursed the tickets — but the optics lingered.
There were the Saudi appearances, including a front-row seat near Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman at an esports event in Riyadh — spotted not by city disclosure, but by livestream — just a day after Suarez posted an Instagram story suggesting he was enjoying “Miami afternoons.”
But that’s not the worst part, him being a liar. He’s also an apologist to murderers and thugs.
Suarez organized and promoted the 2023 Future Investment Initiative Priority Summit, a Miami Beach event sponsored by the government of Saudi Arabia, which was under investigation by the US. Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Government Affairs for using American assets to boost efforts to clean up the regime’s image. This is the same government that stands accused of arbitrary arrests, torture and political assassinations, like the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi, who was ambushed and strangled by a 15-member squad of Saudi operatives. His body was dismembered and disposed of in some way that was never publicly revealed. People suspect it was in suitcases.
And still, he hoped to get Trump’s appointment to be ambassador there. He even gave him a key to the city last month. Before gave the real ones to Higgins.
Read related: What corruption probe? Mayor Francis Suarez enjoys Egypt wedding, Miami F1
Perhaps the most striking contrast comes not from policy, but from personal finance.
Suarez entered office with a modest net worth of about $400,000. He leaves with more than $5 million. This is fueled, in part, by his side gigs, including the $10,000 a month he was getting as a “consultant” for developer Rishi Kapoor while Kapoor secured permits for his projects. This “commitment as a public official” became part of the FBI investigation into Kapoor’s business.
That doesn’t make Baby X corrupt. But it does raise an eyebrow — especially for a mayor who insisted his focus was always local, always neighborhood-based, always for everyone.
He’s not only gotten richer, Suarez has gotten buffer, posting work-out videos often. In fact, he loves the TV so much he might do a fitness show for cable next.
There are a lot of possibilities — and speculations. Will he run for higher office? Congress? Governor? Will he go to work for some huge development firm? Or Griffith? Whatever he does next is worth watching. But at least he won’t do it on the taxpayer dime.
Read related: Miami Mayor Francis Suarez gave Trump a key to city; gave us the finger
Now he can hang out with Javier Milei, who represses freedom of press and clamps down on protests and dissent in Argentina, or Jeff Bezos, who also spoke at his America Business Forum last month, where the postalita mayor gave Donald Trump a key to the city. Or Richard Branson on his island like he did on Election Day.
Francis Suarez wanted to make Miami global. And in many ways, he did — as a brand, a buzzword, a backdrop for conferences, crypto schemes, and international photo ops.
But while Miami went global, many residents stayed stuck: priced out of housing, stuck in traffic, watching rents soar and wages chase inflation.
Suarez leaves behind a city more famous than ever — and more divided about who that fame actually served.
Now Miami turns the page.
No more MiamiCoin promises. No more presidential auditions. No more mayors spotted abroad by accident.
Just the hard work of governing a city — on the ground, at home, and in full view of the people who live here.
Goodbye, Francis. And good riddance.
Safe travels.

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The post Goodbye, Francis Suarez: Miami’s most frequent flyer mayor takes off for good appeared first on Political Cortadito.

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A ‘new’ review initiative smells like the old ‘report card’
Gather ‘round, pups, because Miami-Dade County is putting on a big show — and this one stars our ever-growing, ever-hungry nonprofit industrial complex, also known as Community Based Organizations (CBOs). You’ve seen them at County Hall: matching T-shirts, matching talking points, matching publicists… all singing from the same hymn sheet about “the children” or “the services” or “the vulnerable populations,” right on cue.
But this year, for the first time in ages, regular taxpayers — the ones actually footing the bill — finally started to notice something: these nonprofits are loaded. And some may be questionable.
Read related: Shady charity with political ties gets $450K from Miami-Dade Commission
The scandal that The Miami Herald’s Doug Hanks broke on the millions of taxpayer dollars that went to fund the A3 Foundation — a seemingly sham charity run by a politically-connected Miami insider — for the horse and pony show at Tropical Park every year, put a focus on just how easy it is for these non-profits to get serious money for nothing.
And they have pull. Serious pull. Enough that even Mayor Daniella Levine Cava — who loves nonprofits the way a pastor loves a microphone — proudly reminds everyone she founded or served on the boards of Kristi House, Voices For Children, and a few others that always seem to find their way to the county trough. She said she was heartbroken to have to cut their budgets.
“Many of the organizations that have presented today are organizations that I either founded or served on the board or collaborated with for decades,” she said at the Sept. 4 budget meeting. “It is personally painful to me to be in a situation where I had to choose between running buses, filling potholes or providing for our nonprofit partners.”
But here’s what nobody inside County Hall likes to say out loud: Nonprofits are not an essential function of government.
They don’t run elections. They don’t fix roads or buy buses. They don’t guard inmates or treat sewage or keep our water drinkable. They are optional partners who, sometimes, on paper, serve as a safety net for insufficient resources that the county allocates to the most needy. Key word: Optional. Yet, in 2025 they collected more than $70 million in taxpayer money as if it were some sort of constitutional mandate. Many of them act like that cash is automatic. Owed. Guaranteed. God-given.
And nobody has embraced this cozy arrangement more than Commissioner Kionne McGhee, Miami-Dade’s self-appointed Patron Saint of Nonprofits, who reports in his financial disclosure that he is paid $99,416.18 every year by Children of Inmates, a CBO that gets funding from the county and the state. Down to the penny. That’s not “consulting.” That’s a salary — a tidy little side hustle from an organization that (surprise!) shows up during county budget season to lobby for funding.
Recently, McGhee proposed a new vendor-fee trust fund — a permanent money machine for nonprofits, skimmed off the top of county vendor contracts, which would probably end up passed along to the county anyway. It was punted after county budget staff estimated it would generate only $4 to $5 million. Pocket change compared to the $70 million nonprofits already gobbled up in this year’s budet.
Read related: Miami-Dade committee punts hard on Kionee McGhee’s non-profit slush fund
Commissioner Danielle Cohen Higgins called it what it was — not even a band-aid. A Post-It note, maybe.
Still, McGhee may not give up. He has suggested putting the whole thing on the ballot. Just like that. No math to support it. No justification. No logic. Just vibes.
Maybe he should wait until the county mayor’s office comes back in March with a report and analysis of how nonprofit organizations are funded, selected, and evaluated. This review measure, a hard look at the county’s CBO funding process — basically the Wild West with PowerPoints — was sponsored by Commissioner Natalie Milian Orbis and approved unanimously earlier this month.
Milian Orbis wants a full accounting: who gets funded, how they get picked, what they actually do, and whether the “legacy” nonprofits — the ones grandfathered into money year after year without ever standing in line — are really delivering anything close to results.
“For too long this process has confused the public and frustrated the very groups trying to serve our families,” she said.Translation: For too long this process has been a hot mess and nobody wants to say it out loud.
“Residents deserve a process that is fair, transparent, and focused on real results,” she added. And somewhere in the back, Ladra swears she could hear a few legacy CBO directors shifting uncomfortably in their seats.
Because legacy does not equal legitimacy.
The report, due 120 days from when it was approved, will examine this year’s competitive grant process, review the sacred cows of the CBO world, and compare them to other nonprofits and even county-run programs. In other words: show us the receipts or get out of the line.
Milian Orbis added: “We owe it to our residents to make sure these dollars are reaching people in need and supporting programs that work.” Which is adorable, because it assumes the system has ever been designed around “what works” instead of who knows who.
Once the mayor’s office delivers the report, it will come back to the board for public review and action. And that, pups, is where things get interesting — because once the disinfecting sunlight hits these numbers, somebody’s gravy boat is going to run aground.
Read related: Miami-Dade budget restores 100% funds to non-profits = self preservation
Or is it? Because Milian Orbis, very proud of herself, says this will be the first public countywide analysis of the performance, reach, and results of non-profits. Shows how green she is. Because  there have been issued “report cards” on CBOs for years. CBOs are managed by the Office of Management Budget and funded annually as part of the budget process. That everybody knows. But what everyone might not know is that the OMB already conducts performance reviews to evaluate (1) deliverables and program achievement and (2) administration and contract compliance. These reviews serve as the basis for report cards, which use a green, yellow and red stoplight scale as follows:

Green: Less than five instances of non compliance. You know, because three or four instances is no big deal.
Yellow: More than five instances of non-compliance. Stuff that can be fixed so the county gives you time.
Red: “any number of instances of non compliance that merit contract or payment suspension.”

In the report card for 2023-2024, 116 CBOs were evaluated and only two were in the red, according to a memo from the mayor to commissions in May. Their contracts were terminated and remaining unspent grant monies were returned to the general fund, she said. Thirteen other organizations received a yellow rating. “However, 10 of the 13 yellow rated organizations were previously rated red and were changed to yellow upon acceptance of a Corrective Action Plan,” the memo says.
The report cards for fiscal years 2018-19 is much worse, with more red lines than one would think there should be.

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