Miami-Dade made a very excited announcement Wednesday.
No, our county leaders haven’t solved the transit problem — not even close. They haven’t found a real, professional with airport experience to run MIA. They haven’t decided to respect the people’s vote and create the Pet’s Trust as they promised to. They didn’t find the perfect location and situation for a new civil courthouse. They didn’t pass any new climate change development regulations. And they haven’t discovered a way to save tapayer dollars in wasteful publicity stunts that only feel good but do very little to actually benefit the community.
No, the announcement made Wednesday was that our county had unveiled its very own condom brand. Actually, “its first branded condom,” according to the press release. Italics are mine. Because are we to expect more condom brands from our elected local leaders? Can Ladra suggest an erect palm tree against a sunset backdrop for the next one?
This first condom was unveiled on Valentine’s Day, for all the PR value. This is not a joke. Mayor Carlos Gimenez and Commissioner Sally Heyman and Commission Chairman Esteban Bovo even posed with a giant and (we hope) mock condom for the photo-op. At the press conference. Press conference!
This first condom is Miami-Dade’s collaboration with the Florida Health Department’s Getting 2 Zero HIV awareness campaign — because the goal is zero new cases and zero stigma — hence Sen. Rene Garcia also in the photo op. And this is not to take away from the campaign. Ladra is all for HIV awareness and free condoms for everyone — which the county is distributing all this week at locations near you. Miami-Dade has one of the if not the highest rate of HIV infection in the country. Currently, there are almost 27,000 people living with HIV/AIDS in Miami-Dade — that’s one out of every 85 adults. We need as many free condoms as we can get. And it will rain condoms at FIU’s Green Library today, dubbed “Condom Day.”
But is this really what we want our county commissioners to be spending their time doing? Posing with giant condoms? Once they initiate/approve the collaboration, sure, they can do something to help the state campaign. But celebrating? With photo ops?
This is the hard work they want $100,000 a year for? (More on that later.) Already, Deputy Mayor Maurice Kemp (far left) has already spent too much time away from his $230,000-a-year job.
Perhaps it is because the pats on the back come few and far between at County Hall. So they just can’t help themselves. But, seriously folks, whatever time, cost and effort was made designing and/or printing this special wrapper and redecorating the lobby at County Hall and producing all this feel good publicity crap could have been saved and our community better served by hooking the state up with existing HIV awareness organizations that really know how the community and how to distrubute existing brands of condoms all year long.
What we really need is protection for when the county screws us. But in the meantime, here’s where to find the free Miami-Dade brand condoms.

Feb. 15 Health Fair at Curley’s House, from 10-3 p.m., 6025 NW 6th Ct.
Feb. 15 Educational Table at MDC-Kendall Campus, from 11-2 p.m., 11011 SW 104th St.
Feb. 15 Condom Day at FIU’s Green Library, 10:30-2 p.m., 11200 SW 8th St.
Feb. 16 Health Fair at Government Center, 10-4 p.m., 111 NW 1st St.
Feb. 16 HIV/STD Testing The Hub at LGBTQ, 10-2 p.m., 1130 Washington Ave., Miami Beach
Feb. 22 HIV/STD Testing at Flamingo Park, 2-7 p.m., 1200 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach

Use at your own risk.

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Miami-Dade Elections Supervisor Christina White has added the West Flagler library branch to the list of early voting locations for the needless May 1 House District 114 special election. But that doesn’t solve the problem for the two Republicans in next week’s primary.
Or, really, for the one Republican who stands to lose the most and might not make it to the general.
Early voting started Saturday at three polling places in Coral Gables, Pinecrest and Cutler Bay. But two polling places in the northern end of the district that are normally open for early voting in countywide elections — West Miami Community Center and the West Flagler library — are not. And White told Ladra that there was nothing she could do now. Florida statutes require that she set the early voting calendar at least 30 days prior to the first day. Her hands are tied.
Unfortunately, this could have a damning make-or-break effect on one of the candidates.
Jose Pazos — a Marine and son of a an ex political prisoner in Cuba who has lived in the district all his life — has his base of support in the West Miami and Flagami area, where the older Cuban voters may remember him from his run in 2010 (although the district lines were redrawn somewhat) and are more likely to vote for Pazos than someone named Andrew. Conversely, Andrew Vargas — an attorney who really doesn’t have a base anywhere as he recently moved in from the Lakes of the Meadows area, where he was running for office just a few months ago — will likely have more fans in Pinecrest and Cutler Bay than a Jose would.
Is this fair? Ladra understands that White can’t do anything about it now. But why didn’t she add the other two polling places — or at least the one that is being added to the May election — from the beginning?
There are 20 early voting locations in a normal countywide election, but they don’t activate all of the ones in a particular city or district for a smaller race, White said. There may have been more early voting sites in the most recent special election in Senate District 40 and House District 116, but there were three times as many voters as in District 114, she added.
She also said that there were more eligible registered voters in Coral Gables than Miami and West Miami combined. In fact, she had considered having only two polling places, but the district is “very long and narrow and two is probably too few,” White said.
“The decision was not made from a cost perspective but on whether it is warranted.”
But what does that mean? And who makes that determination? Is it White or her boss, Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez?
Read related story: Limited early voting in House 114 GOP primary could be voter supression
Three is still too few, as evidenced by the fact that a fourth site has been added to the May 1 election, and several local leaders got involved: The West Miami mayor, Miami Commissioner Manolo Reyes, county Commissioner Rebeca Sosa and local Republican Party honcho Nelson Diaz, who even threatened to sue the county under the federal voting rights act if they did not add the two other polling places. But they were too late: The first complaint White got about the issue was when Diaz contacted her on Jan. 12 — 29 days before the first day of early voting — said Elections Spokeswoman Suzy Trutie.
White also said that she expected Flagami and West Miami voters to easily access the Gables library branch, which is historically one of the highest peforming polling places (and so far this election is no different). But couldn’t we expect as much of the Pinecrest voters, which I assume there are fewer of? Ladra thinks that it’s much easier for the soccer moms with GPS to find the Coral Gables branch than the working class transit card holders and elderly voters of the northwestern part of the district. White’s caluclations didn’t take that into effect. Maybe the Pinecrest library branch should have been the polling place that was discarded. I wonder what the historical turnout is there compared to the West Flagler library.
Numbers show that only two people voted at the Pinecrest library over the weekend, compared to five people at the South Dade library and 44 people in Coral Gables. On Monday, four people voted at the two southern locations and 19 people voted in the Gables. On Tuesday there were no voters at Pinecrest — zero — three at South Dade and 16 in the Gables. On Wednesday, three votes at each of the two southern  locations and 15 in the Gables.
Hopefully, the higher numbers in the City Beautiful indicate voters traveling in from West Miami and Flagami. Ladra also hopes the turnout picks up as the week progresses.
Because anything but a landslide is going to raise eyebrows.

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UPDATED: The city has put a time certain of 11 a.m. on this discussion — not 5 p.m., as requested so more people could attend. Think that’s not by design?  
Coral Gables administrators are falling all over themselves now to ensure their residents that the new proposed public safety building the city has been discussing for several years will meet the needs of both the police and fire department — despite concerns from both unions that they were not consulted in the planning and that the design will cause both space and operational problems.
The city manager will bring commissioners up to speed at Tuesday’s meeting, but a number of concerned residents say that they will also attend to see if concerns raised weeks ago by the police and fire unions, who say they were left out of the planning process and that could result in problems longterm.
Last May, city commissioners approved a land swap with Codina Development, giving them the 2801 Salzedo Street site where the leaking, dilapidated police and fire headquarters building sits now in exchange for property on Minorca adjacent to the city-owned parking Lot 6 just a couple blocks north. The new $34-million facility will also include a parking garage for at least 160 vehicles — and that’s one of the concerns some people have: Why is a public parking garage as part of a police and fire facility a smart idea in a post 911 world?
One other issue is size. While the city says that the building is bigger — 116,000 square feet compared to 88,000 currently — the way the space is appropriated could result in smaller spaces for everyone. There’s a large space, perhaps a whole floor, devoted to a training center, for example. Like the city is going to go into the law enforcement training business? The biggest impact is to the fire department, which can have up to 15 firefighter paramedics sleeping at the station at one time and will have about a third of the space. There’s talk that all the trucks won’t fit in the bays. Even so, the exit and entry will cause traffic problems on Minorca, said Gables Professional Firefighters Association President Mike Chickillo, a driver engineer.
There will be delays in response times, he says.
Read related story: Coral Gables residents get mail questioning their safety
Chickillo also said that while the design firm has done dozens of other public safety buildings before, he only found one fire station. And he feels like his department is an afterthought. “It’s like they are building a public safety building and putting a fire station in it,” he told Ladra Friday. One example is the lack of any outdoor bays, which could cause health problems for the employees unless there is a state-of-the-art exhaust system.
At a time when the city is considering annexations of Little Gables and High Pines, Chickillo and Coral Gables Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 7 President John Baublitz wondered if the new building has been planned for growth.
Both union presidents said Friday that, while there were still several concerns, the administation had reached out and met with them since a Miami Herald story by Linda Robertson exposed the lack of communication. “They’re assuring us there’s enough room for everybody,” Baublitz told Ladra, sounding way less than convinced.
Said Chickillo: “They are being more inclusive, but it would have been better if they had included us from Day One.”
Gables spokeswoman Maria Higgins-Fallon told Ladra Friday that the issues had been resolved. “Some of it was misinformation,” she said, adding that there have been multiple public meetings about the building. “City leaders have met with a number of people from the community and both the police and fire department,” Higgins-Fallon said. “Some of the issues were clarified.”
She also said that the city had published information on its website to keep folks up to date and had even paid for a full page ad in Sunday’s neighbors section (photographed here) to assure residents that “public safety is our top priority” and that the building would be perfect for the city’s needs.
That’s because, by now, residents are involved. The Riviera Neighbors and Ponce Homeowners associations have encouraged members to go to the meeting Tuesday. North Gables resident activist Maria Cruz — the resident that a police major spied on during a commission meeting — started a petition on change.org asking Mayor Raul Valdes-Fauli and the commissioners to ask the administration some questions at Tuesday’s meeting and to make it time certain at 5 p.m. so more residents can attend.
At least 500 people had signed the pettion as of early Monday morning (today).
“We believe it is essential for those who will be using the building to be part of the process. Their success and well being ultimately will translate in saving lives,” the petition states before asking a series of questions that reveal issues go far deeper than the building and could be tied to the resentment people have that Assistant City Manager and wannabe police chief Frank Fernandez is, as director of public safety, overseeing the police and fire chiefs.
“Why was everything kept so secret that even those severely impacted were kept from seeing the plans?”
Read related story: Coral Gables cover-up on police ‘spy’ protects managers
Fernandez, at a Crime Watch committee meeting earlier this month, said the petition was “propaganda” akin to “Fidel Castro’s Cuba.” Ladra was not there but spoke to three people who were and who told the story the same way: He had allowed Baublitz to answer questions — you know, to make it seem like all is harmonious in their world. But when someone asked about the petition, Fernandez — who we all know is the one that, ironically, put the spy on Cruz — interrupted and said he would be the one to answer that question, calling it propaganda.
Cruz, who is Cuban, is offended. “I take great issue with that because propaganda is what they are doing,” she said.
“People are just asking questions,” said one of the residents who is concerned and was at the meeting. “That comment was completely out of place.”
Chickillo, who was not at the Crime Watch meeting, said he also heard about the comment. “If anyone is doing Cuba-style propaganda, it’s them.”
And it does seem that the city is going out of its way to sell the proposed building as is. They even took out that full page Neighbors ad Sunday.
The one that curiously leaves out the fact that the building will be discussed at Tuesday’s meeting at City Hall.
 

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Early voting starts Saturday in the Republican primary for House District 114, but voters in the north end may have to drive further to cast a ballot.
This is already a low turnout race, a special election to replace former Democrat State Rep. Daisy Baez, who resigned last year after she was caught living outside her district and lying about it. Gov. Rick Scott called a special election just six months before the real election, presumably to give a Republican, who normally have the edge in special low turnout elections, an incumbency in November for an advantage in the swing seat.
Only three polling places will be open for early voting — the libraries in Coral Gables, Pinecrest and Cutler Bay. The library in Flagami and the West Miami Community Center, which are normally early voting locations, are not included in this race, even though there are voters that live in those precincts.
Does anybody else see a pattern here?
One of the candidates, Jose Pazos, is crying foul. “My base is in the north of the district,” he told Ladra Thursday.
It’s also where a majority of the Cuban or Hispanic voters are concentrated. It’s where the lower income voters are concentrated. It’s probably also where the older voters are concentrated. They may not go if they have to get to Salzedo Street and University Drive in Coral Gables (exactly) to cast their ballots.
Is this voter supression? If Ladra didn’t know any better, we might think there was a concerted effort to keep Latino voters away.
A late night text to Miami-Dade Elections Supervisor Christina White Thursday was not answered. But White has likely heard about this already. Pazos said that West Miami Mayor Eduardo Muhiña and newly-elected Miami Commissioner Manolo Reyes — both of whom have consituents who are being disenfranchised — have written letters asking that the two northern polling places be open for early voting.
The other candidate in this primary is Andrew Vargas, an insurance lawyer and named partner of State Rep. Carlos Trujillo, who had signed up to run in House District 119 to replace Jeanette Nuñez, but changed to 114 as soon as Baez announced her resignation. It is widely rumored that Trujillo made the protests in front of Baez’s house happen to speed up her fall from grace so Vargas could run here instead in a special election. Andrew, of course, is expected to do better in Pinecrest et al than Jose.
The winner of this Feb. 20 election (more on this soon) will face Democrat lobbyist Javier Fernandez, who has no primary, in May — which will be another low-turnout special election.
The county and elections officials should be doing everything to engage as many voters as possible, especially in elections where already fewer people will be making this important choice. Perhaps Miami-Dade Commissioner Rebeca Sosa, whose constituents are being disenfranchised at the worst and incovenienced at the least, should get involved. Or Miami GOP pres Nelson Diaz.
There is still time to do the right thing. Early voting starts at 8 a.m. Saturday. Hours are 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. on weekends and 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. on weekdays.
Early voting ends Feb. 18 and is at the following locations:

Coral Gables Branch Library, 3443 Segovia Street, Coral Gables
Pinecrest Branch Library, 5835 SW 111th Street, Pinecrest
South Dade Regional Library, 10750 SW 211th Street, Cutler Bay

And, hopefully, at the West Miami Community Center and the Hispanic library branch in Flagami.

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Tallahassee’s worst kept secret is out. Ladra had heard about an affair between senators Anitere Flores and Oscar Braynon III for more than a year, maybe two. But we didn’t care. Not then. Not really. Not so much now, either. It was only mildly interesting because of its bipartisan nature. Flores is an ultra conserative Republican in District 39 (Kendall). Braynon is a Democrat in District 35 (Miami Gardens).
Other than that, it’s a pretty garden variety soap opera. What should bother people is that someone put secret surveillance on two duly elected lawmakers for some special interest purpose. It isn’t sexual harassment, though it is being bunched into group thought with Jack Latvala‘s and Jeff Clemens‘ very real transgressions. It isn’t corruption — as in the city of Hialeah, where the former mayor’s chief of staff got his side dish a job she was wholly unqualified for (more on that later). It isn’t even non-feasance — unless there was taxpayer paid travel that was unnecessary so the lovebirds could coo far from home. But, really, who can prove “unnecessary”? You say tomato blah blah.
At the end of the day, we are talking about the actions of two consenting adults, longtime friends, on their own time in their own personal space. It is none of our business. Ladra would be far more concerned with all the people rumored to be sleeping around in local government and at the school board, where it’s allegedly led to jobs and contracts.
So why is everybody getting their panties in a bunch about this? Because of  perceived partisan conflicts of interests?
Some folks say Braynon — the minority leader who sought and fundraised for Democrat candidates — tossed his little love bunny an easy peasy candidate in the 2016 election on purpose. Or did you think Debbie Mucarsel-Powell is the best the blue party can do? This is that race that trustfund baby Andrew “Richie Rich” Korge abandoned because, as he said, he was getting no Dem love. Others say the affair may be why Flores blocked those open carry bills last year that most of her colleagues supported. As if Braynon threatened to cockblock her if she didn’t block glocks at committee? Poppycock.
This is all smoke and mirrors intended to keep us away from the real story: Who paid for the secret surveillance and anonymous website and, as importantly, to what end? Is the NRA behind it? This is possible. And the ramifications are far more important than some nerdy policy pillow talk. It’s why there should be an state or FBI investigation.
Many political observers think that former Sen. Frank Artiles — who was forced to resign in shame after a racist and sexist rant with black legislators at a Tallahassee eatery — was the one behind this website as a kind of payback. The video tape that was taken via a secret camera was installed by a private investigator that has reportedly worked for one of Artiles’ well-known Tallahassee lobbyist buddies. But while Artiles certainly has the (un)ethical fortitude to do something like this, we’ve never seen him have such follow through before. He’s all bark, no bite. And how would he fund it? Artiles is mean spirited, but smear campaigns cost money. The NRA has tons of that.
Las malas lenguas told Ladra that there could be an ethics complaint coming. But that was a month ago and nothing has happened. Because there really was no ethics violation. If anything, the relationship proves that Republicans and Democrats can work together if they take their clothes off. I suggest they add a Nude Days to the themed schedule at the capitol, like Lobby Days, Dade Days, Children’s Days and Dentists Day.
No, Ladra thinks maybe the front page story in the Miami Herald was the end game. Maybe that was really the intent of the smear job anonymous website that outed the affair days before session began, with video tape and photographs to go with the allegations but no specific accusations as to just how those affections allegedly affected Florida voters and residents (hint: it didn’t). Ladra suspects there will be no ethics charge coming. In fact, there’s been very little fallout so far, which no doubt was the intention of the lawmakers strange, joint mea culpa “forgive us” announcement as the session began.
“As this 2018 session of the Florida Legislature gets underway, we do not want gossip and rumors to distract from the important business of the people, That’s why we are issuing this brief statement to acknowledge that our longtime friendship evolved to a level that we deeply regret. We have sought the forgiveness of our families, and also seek the forgiveness of our constituents and God. We ask everyone else to respect and provide our families the privacy that they deserve as we move past this to focus on the important work ahead.”
Since then? Nada. Silencio. People have, indeed, given them their privacy.
But (sorry, Anitere) we will hear of this again — in political mailers and TV ads. Not by the Dems. They don’t attack each other with the same relish the Republicans have for one another. And hasn’t Anitere borne the brunt of the slutshaming in this case, although both she and Braynon are married? How sexist is that? Anyway, even though Flores is termed out this year, everyone knows she has (had?) other political ambitions right here at home (otherwise she’d have to get a real job). Some think county commissioner. Others believe Miami-Dade mayor is more her size. She could also be headed up, into Congress or U.S. Senate. Why not? Either way, Flores was unlikely to fade into the footnotes — until now. A young mother of two, this can’t be easy on her personally. And if she runs, especially for anything so fiercely competitive and dirty as county mayor, she will have to face a wildly ugly negative and selatious smear campaign. She may choose not to.
Which may have been the idea. And that is why this needs to be investigated. Because the whole thing could have been set up by political operatives pre-empting Flores’ future electability. Think about it. She would be a formidable fundraiser and supremely viable 2020 candidate for mayor. And you know there is a long list of people already eyeing that job for themselves. County commissioners Esteban Bovo and Xavier Suarez are just the most obvious.
So then wouldn’t this be political extortion? It is not sexual harassment but it is, at the very least, political harassment, which is just as bad if not worse. If the intention here is to run someone out of office, in other words silence Braynon or Flores or, worse, coerce them to vote a particular way — or to push a particular bill through committee — then this entire smear campaign should be investigated as a crime. Even if it was Artiles behind it, the voters in Senate District 40 — where he intends to challenge Sen. Annette Taddeo (never thought I’d be typing those words) this year, believe it or not — deserve to know the lengths to which Magilla Gorilla will go to avenge his detractors.
Who paid that investigator for the video and whoever built the website? Was it Artiles? Was it the NRA? Was it someone else? Shouldn’t we find out?
Ladra calls on the FLDE and Attorney General Pam Bondi to investigate the creation of the website and the video tape that implicated the two legislators. After all, today it’s Flores and Branyon, but tomorrow it could be another senator, a state rep or your friendly, local city council member being strongarmed by the NRA or some solid waste company or gaming giant. Ladra sees a whole cottage industry exploding if there are no consequences.
Not for Flores and Braynon. But for whoever could be extorting them.

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Ladra has mixed feelings about the results of the Miami commission runoff.
On the one hand, there is dread for the people of Miami who now have Commissioner Crazy Joe Carollo to deal with. But on the other hand, Political Cortadito has four more years of fun ahead, as well as perhaps more national appeal even. The political blogger is thrilled. The government watchdog and justice seeker is somewhat disappointed, to say the least.
Why? Some people believe that Carollo is the uncorruptable whistleblower type that Miami needs. But Ladra has seen him evolve in the last few years, supporting people like Doral Mayor Luigi Boria and Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez and all the inside deals both of those politicos entail. You can bet that this gives the Gimenez friends and family — who helped Carollo in this campaign and were front and center at the victory party — a new express lane in their governmental welfare pursuits.
Read related story: Joe Carollo implies alliance with brother, Bruno Barreireo, in mailer
Don’t be surprised if you see one of the county mayor’s children get a job in the city. My money is on Barby Rodriguez-G, the daughter-in-law with the water and sewer job, the one who isn’t hooking up with a former senator in Boston hotel rooms (that we know of anyway).
Carollo won pretty easily. He had 56% of the vote with just the absentee ballots counted shortly after 7 p.m. Tuesday. Because of low turnout, it was a 280-vote gap that Alfie Leon, the former policy advisor for Commissioner Frank Carollo, could make up…but didn’t. By the time early voting was counted, that gap grew to 336 votes. Election Day couldn’t save Alfie.
While he closed the gap with 117 more votes on Election Day than Crazy Joe, it wasn’t enough. With 16 of 17 precincts reporting at 8 p.m., Carollo still won with 52% to his 48%.  The last precinct would have to be the biggest and in Leon’s own neighborhood for him to come back from this. And it’s certainly not a mandate for Carollo. But still comfy enough that he’ll be insoportable from the get-go.
Who am I kidding? Ya esta insoportable.
On his way to become the protagonist and maybe run for mayor against Mayor Francis Suarez in 2021 — because you know that’s the end game, right? — we can rely on Carollo to make news on the regular. We probably don’t even have to wait for commission meetings. The Miami Herald should give David Smiley a raise and an intern.

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