And we’re off. Florida Gov. Rick Scott on Monday set the date for a special election to replace disgraced former Sen. Frank Artiles, who resigned hastily last month after he was caught making racial and sexist remarks to black colleagues. The primary will be July 25 with the general election September 26.

Now, if we can only get an answer from State Rep. Jose Felix “Pepi” Diaz, the preferred candidate of the Florida Republican Party, even though there is probably nobody in Tallahassee closer to Artiles — maybe because there is nobody in Tallahassee closer to Artiles. Perhaps, since the session ended Monday, he will finally let us know one way or another: Is he going to run for Senate District 40 or what?

Diaz said goodbye to the Florida House in a teary speech Monday and has, apparently, said he is interested in running. That is, if something better doesn’t come along. He is waiting to hear about a post he’s been waiting for at the U.S. Attorney’s office in South Florida. Ladra hears it ain’t gonna happen, that he’s been passed over because he’s never seen the inside of a courtroom. He could, however, be waiting for another Trump administration handout, er, I mean position. Or to run for Florida AG if Pam Bondi makes a move.

Either way, his heart is not entirely in the Florida Senate. District 40 is a consolation prize for Diaz.

Read related story: Two new ‘open’ seats spur political piñata question: 40 or 27?

Meanwhile, he’s got the local GOP practically paralyzed. State Rep. Jeanette Nuñez is happy where she is at and plans to run for the Senate seat now occupied by Anitere Flores, which is an easier win for her and means she doesn’t have to move her young family from their home. Plus, she would be loathe to run against her one-time boss and mentor, former Sen. Alex Diaz de la Portilla (photographed left), the first Republican (#thanksfrank) to make it official but who isn’t really one of the good ol’ boys. It’s quite likely that the GOP is looking for someone else. And no, not former Miami-Dade Commissioner Juan Zapata, who isn’t much of a party line guy either. Zap, who represented much of the same district as a state rep, hasn’t returned Ladra’s calls but he’s been running self-promoting ads on Facebook after he said he was interested. Still, we hear he will only run if his friend Diaz doesn’t.

Seems Diaz, who is holding things up, le cai bien a todo el mundo. Well, except maybe former State Rep. Ana Rivas Logan, who he waged a nasty war with in 2012 when they were redrawn into the same district and . He hasn’t gotten into any major controversy or scandal in almost seven years. Everybody says he’s loyal. Is that why the GOP has so much Pepi love? But when you really think about it, he is quite possibly the wrongest candidate for this seat, if only because it would be too much like electing Frank Artiles all over again.

Diaz is Artiles’ BFF and roommate in Tallahassee. They live in what is apparently a frat house with State Reps. Jose Oliva and Manny Diaz, Jr. or Rey Rodrigues. Diaz has been quoted as saying he has cherished the time they’ve spent together in that house. “Some of the most funny and memorable experiences of my legislative career… I wouldn’t change it for anything,” he said.

They have been side by side for seven years. Artiles wants Diaz to succeed him (and should he be allowed to hand pick his replacement?). Who knows Artiles better than Diaz? Let’s pretend for a moment that Pepi didn’t know and accept Artiles as a racist pig, which would mean the racist and sexist remarks to colleauges at an after hours were somehow an isolated incident — and nobody who knows him even a little bit believes that. But let’s pretend that Diaz had a blind spot with his friend’s racism. Was he also blind to the Hooters girl and the Playboy model that served as “consultants”?  Blind to the questionable campaign expenses?

In a scathing Miami Herald story the week he resigned, a reporter found that Artiles had used his campaign account to pay the women $3,500 for their “consulting” services and to fund trips to the Kendtucky Derby and Key West, as ell as $51,000 in reimbursements to himself. Reimbursements for what exactly? Are we to believe Diaz was never around for any of this?

And the same political consultant who refused to tell reporters what those expenses were for, David “The Disgusting” Custin, also works for Diaz (and is pushing Diaz or Nunez so he can get paid).

Everyone is talking about Pepi’s lovely little emotional goodbye speech on the house floor after the session ended Monday, but I live in District 40 and, before I vote, I want to know what Diaz knew when.

Diaz and Artiles are still tight. Artiles last week shared Diaz’s Facebook post about condo association reform. If I were Diaz, I would ask his friend to not help so much. “Dude! Deja de postear about me!”

Read related story: Frank Artiles resigns and an old rival, Juan Zapata, could run

It’s a mutual admiration thing. Diaz has posted tons of pictures of him with Artiles on his social media platforms, where he is extremely active, posting pictures with celebrities, including our celebrity presidnent, Donald Trump, who fired our esteemed state rep from The Apprentice during season 5 in 2006. I’m telling you, he’s a frat boy. Ladra nickamed him the King of Selfies. I mean, what has Diaz done in seven years in the House except take more selfies than any elected should be allowed to? Anyone? Every single bill he sponsored this year died in committee or in calendar even, including his gaming bill, which would have expanded casino and gambling options in South Florida despite the fact that it is not what his constituents want. Who does he work for anyway? Genting?

Late Monday, Artiles posted several links to his Facebook page about his best friend’s farewell speech. “Where’s he going,” someone asked in a comment.

“Running for senate,” Artiles replied.

Could El Zorro come to the rescue again?

One of the names being batted around for a special election to replace disgraced former Sen. Frank Artiles — who resigned Friday after making inappropriate and racist comments earlier in the week when speaking to a few colleagues — is his all-time rival and nemesis, former Miami-Dade Commissioner and former State Rep. Juan Zapata.

Zapata abruptly withdrew his candidacy from his re-election to the county commisison last year. He had grown sick and tired of the retaliatory tactics of the mayor and his allies and the hat trick maze that is the county budget. But he had been one of the good guys, asking the right questions, not playing politics or favorites with the other electeds and watching, more closely than anyone else, the taxpayer’s money.

Now, maybe we can have him in the Senate.

Read related story: Frank Artiles resigns, but still needs to apologize to Hialeah

Zapata was out of the country Friday on business but returned a text message from Ladra about it.

 “Yes, I am seriously considering it,” he wrote, and followed it with a smiling emoji. The big smiley one, not the little smile.

“I wasnt going to be able to contribute much in the county commission. The state senate would obviously allow for way more,” Zapata told Ladra. “This is my area. I have always fought and worked for it. Nobody knows it better than I and my experience has prepared me well.”

It would only be gravy if he gets to replace his longtime nemesis (my words, not his).

Zapata and Artiles have been rivals. Artiles ran for state rep against Zapata twice and lost. He then basically recruited and ran police officer Manny Machado against Zap in the 2012 county commission race (lost then, too).

Other Republicans being considered for the job would be State Rep. Jose Felix “Pepi” Diaz — but he is being groomed for Attorney General — and State Rep. Jeannette Nunez, but she has filed to run for Sen. Anitere Flores‘ termed-out seat in 2018 in what is a slightly safer district for her and probably with Flores’ blessing.

The GOP can’t just pick anybody off the street. They are going to want someone with name recognition who can win on a shorter campaign cycle and thwart the efforts of state Democrats, who want to get their seat back in a district that slightly favors the blue. Artiles, who was a state rep for six years — only winning the House seat once Zap left office to run in the — had beaten former State Sen. Dwight Bullard by 10 percentage points, mostly by calling him a terrorist.

Naturally, Bullard is one of the Democrats being considered. But seeing how he moved out of the district to try to get the chairmanship of the Florida Democratic Party, it would be easy to attack him if he just moved back in to run for his old seat again. I can see the mailers now. Instead of Arab headwear, he’d be carrying luggage. Besides, Bullard might win a primary but he won’t win the general in a district that is about 60% Hispanic. He already tried that once and failed.

Read related story: Chased out: Juan Zapata leaves hostile work environment

The others are perennial candidate Annette Taddeo (who would also win a primary but not the general) and former State Rep. Ana Rivas Logan, who is the person that should have won that seat from the get go, but the Democrats decided to back Bullard and she didn’t even campaign.

Rivas Logan told me she had gotten several phone calls already by lunchtime Friday. Of course, she’s the female flip version of Zapata — a moderate Democrat (she used to be Republican) who has bocoup name recognition.

“It depends on the timeline,” said Rivas Logan, a high school administrator who retires in October. “This is how I make my bread and butter. Politics is a hobby.”

A date has not been set yet for a special election, but it could come as early as this summer, with a 60 day campaign. 

We are already envisioning a showdown between Zapata and Rivas Logan, which will be clean and on the issues, and we can’t wait for these two longtime public servants to show the rest of the puppies how it’s done.

“He would be a formidable opponent,” Rivas Logan said. “That would be a good race.”

Yeah boy, it would!

State Sen. Frank Artiles resigned Friday for having a racist rant earlier in the week, but only after it became increasingly clear that he had no other choice.

Nothing was getting done in the final weeks of session was the capitol turned on Artiles’ words to his colleagues, including calling Senate President Joe Negron a “pussy,” Sen. Audrey Gibson a “bitch” and “girl,” and using a slang version of the n-word to describe another group of senators. In fact, things were only getting worse. A new group or person called for his resignation every day, including people from his own party. Protesters went to his Miami office, delivering signed petitions and threatening a recall and Artiles reacted by threatening several of his colleagues with depositions that would try to show this kind of language is used all the time in the Florida Senate.

It certainly didn’t help matters that he was reluctant to apologize and then was forced to do it on the Senate floor — either that or Negron would bring it up — in what was the most half-assed, sorry-not-sorry apology ever, where he not only pooh-poohed his words.

His resignation letter Friday — under threat of being expulsed by the body — wasn’t a ton better.

“I apologize to my family and friends and I apologize to all of my fellow Senators and lawmakers. To the people of my district and all of Miami-Dade, I am sorry I have let you down and ask for your forgiveness.

“My actions and my presence in government is now a distraction to my colleagues, the legislative process, and the citizens of our great State.

I am responsible and I am accountable and effective immediately, I am resigning from the Florida State Senate.”

So, he is resigning because he is a distraction, not because someone who talks like he did doesn’t belong in the hallowed halls of the Florida Senate. Okay, we’ll take it.

At least he didn’t blame Hialeah again.

Artiles may have resigned from the Senate, but he still owes Hialeah an apology. Sen. Rene Garcia, a Republican who represents Hialeah, said as much this week after Artiles said his use of offensive language was instilled in him growing up in the diverse environment (not!) of Hialeah where, apparently, he wants us to think that kind of talk would be honky dory.

“My constituents and I would agree that this language is simply unacceptable. Senator Artiles owes the residents of Hialeah an apology for unfairly associating them with this kind of behavior,” Garcia said in a written statement.

It didn’t take long for newly-minted Sen. Frank Artiles to misbehave now, did it?

It shouldn’t take this long for him to resign.

A known bully and hothead who punched a college kid in the face at a bar and who wants to kill a Florida black bear, Artiles was in the news again Tuesday after a group of African-American colleagues said he had used the n-word with them and had insulted one of them in multiple other ways, calling her “bitch,” “girl,” and referring to himself as “a fucking assohole.”

At least he got one thing right.

Ladra is not surprised that this happened. She’s only surprised it didn’t happen sooner. Artiles is not only a little more aggressive than some people, he’s a magnet for bad news — from the time he was caught by Ladra living outside of his district as a state represenative to last year, when he proposed some hateful anti LGBT bathroom policing bill.

This item, however, might do him in. At least for now.

Read related story: State Rep. Frank Artiles wants to kill a Florida black bear

It happened at the members-only Governors Club near the Capitol building, just after 10 p.m. and “over drinks,” as first reported in the Miami Herald. So maybe he was under the influence. Sometimes, one’s true colors are revealed when one’s inhibitions are removed. Artiles approahced Sens. Audrey Gibson (D-Jacksonville) and Perry Thurston (D- Fort Lauderdale) and told them that Senate President Joe Negron (D-Stuart) had only gotten to his powerful position because of “six niggers” who voted for him.

“Say what,” one of them sorta said, recoiling at the n-word, and confused because he must have been talking about white Republicans. “Niggas,” Artiles clarified, because the slang version is supposed to make it okay. He said in his half-assed apology Wednesday that he comes from a diverse area where, one would suppose, that is common. He’s my senator, in my district, and I don’t think so.

And you didn’t say it like “my niggas,” Frankie boy. You said it like “those niggas.” Not the same. And you’re not a 17-year-old who wants to sound like Kanye West. You’re a senator, now. Or were.

Because he also called a fellow senator a “girl” and a “bitch” in what was, by all accounts, a political tirade, it is no surprise that Democrats statewide immediately called for his resignation, as they should, and not only because it would cause a special election and a chance for them to win back a seat in the post Donald Trump America that has become a blue promise. SAVE demanded his resignation on Wednesday, seizing on the momentum to get rid of one of their biggest enemies in Tallahasee.

But that’s just gravy. Artiles should resign because former State Rep. Ralph Arza was forced to resign after he left several threatening voice mail messages with racial slurs on the phone of former State Rep. Gus Barreiro. Artiles should resign because the Florida Senate is no place for that kind of language, no matter how sorry you are about getting caught. Artiles should resign because Gibson and Thurston — indeed, any black legislator — should not be forced to work with someone who made such remarks.

It seems an affront to Gibson, in particular, to force her to confront her bully every day.

Former state rep and current Miami-Dade School Board Member Dorothy Bendross-Mindingall said “it would be impossible for me to sit in a room to create laws that impact our community with someone that has neither regard or respect for those who make those laws with him. 

“As lawmakers, we make laws for men, women, children, Blacks, Hispanics, Whites, and others who come from all corners of the world,” Bendross-Mindingall said in a statement. “A person who is not respectful to all is not fit to make laws for them, neither should anyone be subjected to sit on a dais with such an individual.”

Lastly and perhaps the least, Artiles should also resign because staying in office will only hurt the Republican Party, serving as a constant reminder of how racist the GOP has become that it would tolerate this talk from one of their own.

Where are the Republicans calling for his resignation? Negron stripped Artiles of his chairmanship of the Senate’s Committee on Communications, Energy, and Public Utilities. But he didn’t call for his resignation. Negron said that he apologized and that should be the end of it. And Artiles — who waged a supremely negative campaign against a black Democrat last year — scoffed, saying that he was soon running for re-election.

Are you kidding me? I don’t think so. Artiles sorry-not-sorry apology — reading off remarks most likely prepared by someone else — was hardly as heartfelt as his insults. Ladra is surprised that some ambitious Republican with county or state or federal hopes hasn’t come out to lead the GOP rejection. Sen. Anitere Flores? Are you watching this? Do you want people to remember your silence?

Read related story: Artiles lives outside district

Artiles would be smart to resign and quietly work to make amends. He’s a young guy and Miami is a city with acute political amnesia. Arza is now a successful campaign consultant and lobbyist. And former State Sen. Al Gutman, who pleaded guilty to fraudulently billing Medicare and resigned from the legisulature in 1999, owns the quite awesome and successful Cuban Crafters the cigar shop and bar on Northwest 7th Street.

Hey, maybe they can start a club there.

Both the Florida Democratic Party and the Republican Party of Florida will claim victories in Tuesday’s election after several state seats switched colors.

In the 305, we had four seats flip — two in the House and two in the Senate.

Both House seats were open (one due to term limits and one due to ambition) and both went from red to blue. But the Senate seats were one up, one down, thanks mostly to redistricting that left both incumbents vulnerable to state reps that ultimately got the best of them.

The first of those is Sen. Miguel Diaz de la Portilla, who lost a negatively charged contest with 46% of the vote against State Rep. Jose Javier Rodriguez, who got 49%. The senior of the DLP political brothers, Miguel raised and spent more than twice as much as Rodriguez (that we know of). DLP’s latest campaign finance report lists $937,000 in contributions compared to J-Rod’s $479,000. Plus DLP had another $750,000 or so in two PACs (Floridians for Ethics in Judicial Elections and Foundation for Human Values). Nobody knows how much more he had in non-profits or secret non-existing PACs like the one that sent a mailer recommending Democrat candidates — and DLP and Sen. Anitere Flores in her senate race.

He should have stressed his track record as an independent moderate, reminding people not only about his single-handed murder of those outrageous guns on campus laws last year but also the fact that he created the required county commission super majority vote to move the urban boundary line. His message, which wasn’t delivered effectively, should have been that he is in a better position to represent his district in a GOP majority Senate where he would be Big Man on Campus next legislative session. He tried to knock down Mr. Do Gooder and failed.

Meanwhile, J-Rod stuck to the ground game that helped him beat the younger brother, Alex Diaz de la Portilla, in 2012. The DLPs need to get back to basics. Knocking on doors and actually pressing the flesh is harder than recording robocalls and cute radio spots that use old Cuban sayings like a crutch. But it is also effective.

Maybe Miguel can do that when he runs for Coral Gables mayor.

Flipping the script on that race, but ending another political dynasty nonetheless, Democrat incumbent Sen. Dwight Bullard was rejected by voters who instead elected Republican State Rep. Frank Artiles to the position (51% to 41%). They must have been moved by the multiple mailers and TV and radio spots calling Bullard a terrorist sympathizer.

Andrew Korge might also want to apologize to the Democratic Party for causing some early primary damage to the cause.

Does this mean that Artiles can move back into his house in Palmetto Bay? We are going to hold him to his promises about beating back the MDX tolls and electing a sheriff in Miami-Dade.

But Ladra suspects that his victory is bittersweet, knowing that he left his House seat to a Democrat.

Robert Asencio could be this election cycle’s unicorn, having won a Florida House seat with less than $100,000 and proving that anyone can get elected. He and Daisy Baez were elected to the Florida House in districts 118 and 114, respectively. Asencio beat David “King Nine Lives” Rivera, who maybe has run out of lives, by a mere 45 votes to become a state rep. Even though Rivera outspent him by at least 3 to 1 and tried to label him as a “child abuser” based on an internal affairs investigation that was possibly taken out of context. Maybe it worked. Maybe Asencio would have won with a bigger margin had that child abuser thing not surfaced.

As of the latest campaign finance reports, dated through Nov. 3, Rivera had collected $272,000 in contributions (on top of a $50K loan to himself). Asencio raised $77,768 and loaned himself $11,650.

Daisy Baez had to spend a lot more to beat off Republican John Couriel as both vied for the open seat left by termed out State Rep. Erik Fresen. She spent $274,000 as of Nov. 3, but also had $118,000 in in-kind assistance, mostly from the Democratic Party. She needed it against the Couriel bank of $438,500, plus $60K in in-kind (maybe the state GOP ought to step it up).

Each had run before — Baez got a respectable 44% against Fresen in 2012, the same year Couriel lost to Sen. Gwen Margolis — so they each had campaign experience and some name recognition for newbies.

But Baez got just under 51% and a lead of 1,301 votes.

So, if we’re keeping score, there was one switch from red to blue in our Miami-Dade delegation and one switch from blue to red in the Senate. But there were two switches from red to blue in the House for a net gain in the 305 of three Democrat flips.

That there weren’t more is a big failure of the state and local Democratic Party because more seats were flippable. After all, someone you never heard of named Anabella Grohoski Peralta got 45% of the vote against Sen. Rene Garcia with less than $5,500 raised against his $190,000 spent through Nov. 3. And a guy named Patricio Moreno got 45% against State Rep. Carlos Trujillo after he spent $5,764 against the incumbent’s $385K. Y un fulano Carlos Puentes, who got 45% of the vote against Jose Oliva, the next speaker, without raising a dime on a loan of $2,240. Oliva has spent $243,000.

Imagine how many more seats would have been flipped with more resources.

Most of us have been preoccupied — perhaps obsessed is a better word — with the presidential or the Miami-Dade mayoral election. But there were a lot of other races that culminated with Tuesday’s vote. Here are some highlights:

Sen. Marco Rubio beat Congressman Patrick Murphy back to gain another six years in office. He has said he will serve all six years. And that is probably true — especially now that Donald Trump won the presidency. If he likes it and wants to stay, the Republican Party will have to back The Donald in 2020. So this means we will have to wait until 2024 to have our first Hispanic president. Good thing Marquito is a young man.

Rubio’s onetime BFF, former Congressman David Rivera lost his bid to go back to the State House — by 45 votes. Isn’t that close enough for a mandatory recount? His 49% showing is much better than he fared in his bid to get back into Congress in 2012, where he lost the primary with just 8 percent in a five-man field (even Joe Martinez beat him). But still, we have a new face in Tallahassee: Robert Asencio, a former Miami-Dade Schools Police lieutenant won one of two House seats that turned blue. Rivera had waged a negative campaign, calling Asencio a child abuser based on a 2003 complaint from the mother of a student who was physically pulled off a bus for acting inappropriately. The investigation was closed without any findings.

Read related story: ‘Child abuser’ allegations in House 118 race ring hollow

But 118 is the second of two local House seats that turned blue Tuesday after Democrat Daisy Baez eeked out a victory over Republican John Couriel to replace termed-out State Rep. Erik Fresen (who is rumored to be after J-Rod’s new Senate seat). Both of them had run previous campaigns and had the benefit of having some name recognition, despite never holding office. But Baez got just under 51% and a lead of 1,301 votes.

Former Congressman Joe Garcia lost his own bid to get his own seat back, but not as closely. There’s a glaringly wide 11-point gap between U.S. Rep. Carlos Curbelo‘s 52% and Garcia’s 41% performance. Ladra suspects that when the numbers are crunched, we’ll find a bunch of Democrats who voted for Curbelo because of his liberal ways marriage equality and sea level rise and his early rejection of Donald Trump. And I bet Garcia is rethinking those ads that compared Curbelo to Trump, who is the apparent winner of the big POTUS prize. Anyway, that giant gap in the year that Curbelo would be allegedly vulnerable — because that’s it, folks, he is welded into that seat now like IRL — should certainly encourage Garcia to stay in the private sector. Ladra said it long ago. The only person that could have beat Curbelo was Ana Rivas Logan. Too bad she decided to run for state senate. Now we’re stuck with him.

Senator Miguel Diaz de la Portilla, a former Miami-Dade Commissioner and flagship of a political dynasty, lost a heated battle with State Rep. (now Sen.) Jose Javier Rodriguez, 46 to 49% — and turned the longheld Republican seat (brother Alex Diaz de la Portilla sat there for a decade before DLP took over in 2010) blue. The senior DLP outspent J-Rod more than 2 to 1, which almost proves that it is worth more to knock on 150,000 doors than it is to buy slick commercials that tries in vain to cast a liberal onetime legal aid attorney as beholden to special interests. It’s too bad. Miguel DLP was my favorite senator and, while J-Rod will likely be stymied, the incumbent actually did some good as a senior member of the majority party and may have better represented the district. Oh well. Maybe DLP will run for Coral Gables mayor next year.

Ending another political dynasty in the other really heated and mostly negative state senate race — and flipping the seat the other way — State Rep. Frank Artiles will move to the other chamber after he beat incumbent Sen. Dwight Bullard, 51% to 41%. Guess all that business about Bullard being a terrorist worked. It’s scary to think we may see a resurgence of Artiles’ ugly bathroom legislation targeting transgenders. But does this mean he can move back into his Palmetto Bay house? He was forced to move out after Ladra caught him living outside his state House district in 2010.

There will be two runoffs for the mayor’s seat in Doral and in Miami Lakes, where none of the candidates were able to garner 50% of the vote.

Read related story: It ain’t over in Doral, Miami Lakes with mayoral runoffs

There was a big upset in the Miami-Dade School Board race where Steve Gallon III beat incumbent Wilbert “Tee” Holloway III with a resounding 61%. Gallon got a lot of the community support in a district — which includes Miami Gardens, Carol City and North Miami — where Holloway was cast as an empty suit. And it earned him a 22-point lead Tuesday. The other school board seat went to Gimenez in-law Maria Teresa Rojas, as expected. Not just because she is a longtime teacher and school administrator but also because the voters in that district probably reacted vehemently to a negative campaign in which her challenger was cast as a Fidel Castro sympathizer. Look soon for an announcement of Political Cortadito’s expansion into school board coverage.

We can also smoke pot to relieve certain debilitating conditions and chill out about having our own solar energy one day as voters approved the medical marijuana constitutional amendment but rejected the amendment on solar energy choice that would have basically limited our choices and allowed Big Energy to control everything. Voters were not fooled by that one — except in Miami-Dade where we actually had a majority vote yes on this wolf in sheep’s clothing (56 to 44%). Shaking my head.

There were also a bunch of questions in municipalities from Homestead to Sunny Isles Beach and we will get to those individually if they warrant it in the next few days. Some notable examples: Voters in Palmetto Bay rejected a proposal to annex a part of West Perrine. In South Miami, they gave the green light for the building of a new City Hall. And, in North Miami Beach, voters approved a slew of charter changes, including term limits and one that makes it easier for the council to fire the city manager. Please feel free to make suggestions/ask questions.

In fact, Ladra has a feeling we will be writing and reading about the results of this ballot for weeks to come.